Culture Community Gender Identity

This time tomorrow I shall be in Las Vegas, I hope settling in to my room. I haven't started packing yet but I have all day tomorrow.

There is a really cool auction that will occur on eBay in Sept. to benefit the First Amendment Foundation. As readers and writers this is a cause we should consider supporting.

Please go to Neil Gaiman's blog to read the details. Here's why you should click that link - there are a lot of great authors who will put the winning bidders name in an upcoming work. Stephen King, Lemony Snicket, for example, then details are in Neil's blog.

Anyway, Neil asked his readers to post the info in our own blogs, so I have. Hope you will too.

Mac got me thinking again. (yes, I'm grateful for that, *not* complaining! sheesh)

I'm going to put it below the cut, it's longish...

OK, you bravely decided to read on. Thanks. BTW, I think this is a work in progress, I will be coming back to re-read, re-write, etc...in case of additional thoughts should I post them in the future dates and ref back? Makes sense.

First of all, you need to go read Mac's entry if you're not already a fan. You should comment, too. I know you have good stuff to say.

Here's what I've been thinking about as a result of her entry which had to do with her cultural experiences and gender associations and other heavy stuff, just in case you didn't go read. This is by no means a response to the entry. It's what thoughts and associations came to mind as a result of reading it. It wanders a bit very much like my mind.

What is culture? Got this from Wikipedia: "The word culture comes from the Latin root colere (to inhabit, to cultivate, or to honor). In general, it refers to human activity; different definitions of culture reflect different theories for understanding, or criteria for valuing, human activity. Anthropologists use the term to refer to the universal human capacity to classify experiences, and to encode and communicate them symbolically." hmmm. I should have taken some anthro classes. I don't think I quite get it yet. Later on it speaks of people more-or-less sharing the same set of values and conventions. Ok, I may be getting closer.

How are my cultural experiences different? I'm thinking, is it really cultural experiences or is it ones unique personal experience or really more personality-type distinctions (in the formal psychological mode, Meyers Briggs, that stuff) Since we're talking about relating, or not, to other women, is it because there's a culture of gender thing going on -- I mean at times I've felt like I'm not from the same dimension as some women I've met; they make me want to check and see what side my shirt buttons are on. (Don't get me started on cheerleaders and cheerleader moms.)

Somehow I don't have the same frame of reference and can't 'get' what makes them tick. Here's where the sharing norms and values come in. I certainly have different values than a lot of people I know. I usually think it's because I'm the one who's weird due to my strange life and upbringing and multiple character flaws. Can we say self-esteem issues? At least I know I have them and admit it. Is there a program?

This whole sense of gender norms must develop over time from early childhood, when one finally understands that male and female are different. I was a child in the 60's so there was still a lot of "girls don't grow up to be (fill in the blank). My parents didn't actively espouse that, they pretty much raised us to believe we could be or do anything. What gender specific conditioning went on was either subconscious or very subtle. I know it must have happened but I really believe it was never overt. I'll boil it down, I knew intellectually that women can do anything they set their minds to do yet I was always a bit surprized that they actually did it. Female jet pilot, sure, why not. When I finally met one I realized I hadn't really believed in my heart that it was possible.

One of the strongest cultures and one that really has profound impact on many people (all? how about you?) is the teen culture -- especially the one centered on High School. It may start younger now, but up until High School for me it was easier to avoid conformity. But if you want to be popular, etc. as a teen - and I believe that's a life and death proposition for many, you'd better work on conforming, even if it's just within a small sub-culture (band or choir or drama are good hangouts for non-conformists). I have scars 30 years later but I can't wait to go to my 30 year reunion. Possibly to gloat as I've done pretty well for myself contrary to predictions.

I will say that I drew the gender pressure line at home ec. classes. Back when I was in school there was still an actual formal club called "Future Homemakers of America". They all hung out at the home ec room when they could and sewed and baked and probably had a mystic baking powder cabal for all I knew. *That* was an alien culture to me. Oh, and by the way, I was raised on an Air Force Base. You can imagine for yourself what that was like. I'm not writing a novel here. Yet.

Skipping ahead there have been a number of jobs I've had each imposing a different culture and changing the way I related to the world. Maybe I'm just too easily influenced? It's a wonder I didn't join a cult. Well, I was a Baptist for many years. Nevermind that.

Suffice it to say, being an insurance adjuster really skewes one's view of humanity. After a year or two you're convinced that everyone is a con man and all injuries are psychosomatic, I don't care what the x-rays show. I've also been a teacher, worked in a number of postions in staffing companies and now I'm a non-techie working in an IT department. Working at a technology company in post dot com Silicon Valley is very interesting.

One of the most enduring influences for me has to be the experience of motherhood. With that comes the cultures of infant moms, toddler moms, school age moms...moms of teens and soon, the empty nest. If you're lucky enough to go through these phases in one place with one set of peers then it's a continuum and probably represents a strong culture. For me it was separate phases with separate maternal colleagues or none at all. I don't have any close friends who are the moms of late teens and on the precipice of the empty nest (as well as peri-menopausal *sigh*) I believe I am a woman without one fixed culture. What cultures I am a part of are the one at work and a new one, the internet community. I want to write a great deal more on the latter; that will have to come in a later posting. For now, I will disclose this, my online community is dearer to me than most people I know in real life and I actually don't think that's sad or pathological. It's where I am now and how I cope. Tomorrow could be different.

Do all of these things comprise cultural experiences or are they just personal experiences? I think if I was thinking straight I'd say a mixture of both. I'll come back to this and see what I think of it after a good night's sleep.

Posted by Dawno at August 10, 2005 11:52 PM