The Toys R Us special advance copy courtesy of Amex (with a special opportunity to earn double rewards bonus points) arrived today. As an additional incentive to run up the Amex bill you get a 'free' $10 Toys R Us gift card when you spend $75 (Nov 7th thru 13th only). Don't ask if you can use the gift card to help pay the Amex bill, you can't.
Upon opening the front cover (which is glossy card stock paid for by Amex in contrast to the newsprint catalog pages paid for by Toys R Us) you will find Holiday Fun Stickers. In case you can't figure out what to do with them there are instructions: "Now your kids can place stickers on their favorite toys throughout the Big Toy Book" The stickers say: #1 choice, #2 choice, #3 choice, Wow, Totally awesome!, I really want it! There are 9 stickers in a column of similarly colored stickers with a total of 4 color columns, red, blue, pink and green. There need to be more I really want it stickers so I can just drag Glenn through the store sticking them on what I want and he can just follow the trail back to the register.
The cynical Dawno says to herself, "Who needs to encourage writing skills in their children when you can have them slap a sticker right down on the picture of an overpriced movie tie-in toy of their choice (up to 9 total then we start circling in colored sharpie pens)? I think writing to Santa is endangered...think he has a YIM or AIM screen name? Maybe he's got Gmail...
OK, I'm bored. Glenn is off playing 8-ball or 9-ball (I need to ask him which is Monday and which is Tuesday)and Matt is making his fortune online playing Final Fantasy (or so he says).
I have now decided to flip all the way through the book and see what else I can rant about...
Yep, tie-ins galore. First page and there's Shrek (the stuffed donkey and Shrek toys are cute and only $4.99 with a $75 purchase - dang, already the cynical facade is cracking) The Incredibles, Toy Story...hey, when did Fischer Price Little People get ARMS???? I remember them going from wood to plastic and then getting molded hair...but ARMS? I may not recover from this. Little People just shouldn't have arms. It's tampering with a sacred icon! I have to flip the page quickly before I start foaming at the mouth. I may need counseling.
OK, I have calmed down...next page, Care Bears...are they back or did they just never go away? I like the idea of Care Bears but the voices in those cartoons and the awful plots that even when they were 3 and 4 my kids knew were bad.
Here's a page with lots of Elmo stuff...Chicken Dance Elmo? Batteries included. There's a lot out there I just don't get anymore. I'm in NO HURRY to be re-educated either considering the ages of my kids. I can wait for the joys of grandparenting, thank you.
Next section is full of the pseudo computer stuff that has more functionality than my first computer did...There's a picture of a mom with a 6 month old (I'm guessing here based on the 'six months and up' age for the toy) on her lap and the baby is reaching out towards the 'leap pad' learning system. Baby learns by poking the dang thing in a conditioned response fashion to whatever stimulus it's giving and the subtle cues from Mom (who will be grabbing that hand and guiding it to the right spot, you betcha, so baby can outshine all those loser babies in playgroup next Tuesday, dammit)
I'm holding out for the direct neural implant to the Overmind for my grandchildren, thank you. There is no spoon.
Flip, flip, more comp-u-learn toys...ah, this is interesting: the Play Doh Creativity Table. I had something like that over 40 years ago. Mom's cookie cutters, yesterday's newspaper unfolded on the dinette table in the kitchen (Play Doh cleans off of linoleum so much better than carpet)and four cans of Play Doh one each of red, yellow, blue and white - you can make any color you need from those. Looks like now you need a 'fuzzy pumper' to really enjoy Play Doh (I'm afraid to ask).
Goodness, seems like a lot of toys my daughter liked when she was 6 are coming back, there's Polly Pocket and My Little Pony. And the perennial favorite, Barbie. Yes, there's a movie tie in Barbie (The Princess and the Pauper)set which comes with a 3 song CD from the hit movie so the twin Kelly dolls can 'sing together'. Batteries Included (which is always nice).
Disney dolls and toys, Cabbage Patch Kids, I just flip on by... McDonald's food cart with play food, McDonald's McFlurry maker and cash register (sold separately)and these are all listed before you get to the toys that emulate shopping for real food at a grocery store. On the same page I like the "Icee Maker" fine print that says "In Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Missouri, Tennesee, Texas and on toysrus.com this product is named Slushee Maker." Why? Is the word Icee banned there? Or would there just be a lack of comprehension that is resolved by using "Slushee" instead?
And here's the Easy Bake Oven, wow...they've re-designed the front of the oven, I bet it's been years since they did that. Of course it could have been years since they did it too, I am a bit out of touch... I'm just glad they still make it. Baking teensy cakes and cookies with a light-bulb was a lot of fun for Erin and me...come to think of it, Matt liked it too. (and not just eating the stuff, he would mix it up as well) A few years ago Matt bought one for his girlfriend (they were both 16 or 17 at the time) and it looked like the one I bought Erin about 5 or 6 years previously.
Flip past the board games...past the Legos and MegaBloks...junior science stuff...microscopes and telescopes and ...wait! Its a CSI Facial Reconstruction Kit!! Only $20. Too cool!
Hmmm, Spiderman triple action web blaster...that might be fun.
Stop the presses!! Teen Titans Deluxe T-sub with exclusive 3.5" Aqualad figure! (ages 6 & up needs 2 AAA batteries sold separately) I'll put my sticker on that one. (Whilst perusing the pages I decided to assign sticker colors, Glenn is red, Matt is blue, the Erin gets pink and I get green).
More action figures of all sorts...now its on to Tonka and HotWheels...flip, flip, toy cars, RC cars...oh, cute, Home Depot Lights and Sounds Power Tools Workshop. Spy Gear, which I bought for my nephews' birthdays, I hope they liked it...PowerWheels, electric mini-bikes...ah, the drum sets. I plan to give my son's children drum sets as soon as they can sit up on their own. I will relish my revenge. I'm going deaf so the noise won't bother me.
Electronics...and the last page. Teen Tech portable DVD player with 3.5" screen is only $119. I think the portable DVD player I bought the SO many years ago has a screen about that size and I spent about $1000 on it and now it's worth about 10% of that. We've gotten a lot of use out of it, it was a lifesaver on long trips in the car, kept the kids occupied for hours, but wow, it's a kid's toy now.
I hope you've enjoyed coming along on my little trip thru the Big Toy Book. Kinda reminds me of my sister, Tracy, and I sitting down with the Sears catalog "Holiday Wish Book" when it came out every year...but that's another story.